I’ve always wanted to be a “NORMAL” eater. You know, someone who can take a few bites of something sweet or salty and be satisfied. For me, that was not the case; what a joke! If there were two scoops in my bowl, I wanted three, or even four. If I did manage to take just two bites, I always wanted more. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t just leave food on my plate if I was full and walk away.
As I grew up, I would binge and binge on food, mostly sugar; then, I would take a few days to clean out my system by drinking tons of water and eating only “good” food. I would then start craving the “bad” food again. Calling me, like it was literally talking to me! And I was off again. Completely OUT OF CONTROL. I ate TONS of sugar, bingeing and then cleaning up. It was a vicious cycle.
Friends, as I got older, it got out of hand
At one point, I ended up in the ER with what seemed like a migraine headache. It turned out to be a toxic headache from eating too much chocolate…AND I STILL COULDN’T QUIT THE SUGAR HABIT (and I was reading the book called “Sugar Blues” by William Dufty at the time – oh, the irony). I would decide to stop eating sugar, and then switch to savory/salty foods instead and binge on those. It was a constant battle, and I honestly felt like I was losing my mind. I remember waking up every morning feeling so guilty, defeated and ticked off at myself for eating so much sugar, plus physically feeling like I had a hangover. I was miserable!
When I hit my 40s I was no longer able to keep the weight off due to my excessive eating – I was down to wearing nothing but stretch pants because they were the only pants that fit me and I refused to buy a whole new wardrobe in a bigger size. Through the help of good friends, I found a program to help me with my overeating issues, and my life changed. I discovered the reality that “comfort” food was comforting for about 5 minutes – until the recriminations, pain (physical and emotional) and guilt took over. I also deeply explored the reasons why I ate so much – that’s another subject that I will write on in the near future!
This program for overeaters gradually helped me face the truth about my relationship with food and how it basically took precedence over my relationships and my life. Here’s an example I’m sure you can relate to. It was right after Halloween. I would wait until my kids went to sleep and then, you guessed it. I would raid their Halloween candy, very skillfully mind you – just enough to feed my addiction, but not enough that they would notice any candy was missing. This “WORKED” for many years until they grew older and DID notice…I got busted, fessed up and headed to the grocery store to replace what I had taken from them. How CRAZY is that?
Well, as time passed, I was able to put food back in its rightful place. Through daily commitment to sticking to my food plan, exercise, the support of my overeaters group and relentless exploration of the motivation behind my eating; I lost the excess weight and have kept it off for over 10 years now. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it – because I’ve discovered I’m now WORTH it.
If you can relate to anything I’ve written here at all, my heart goes out to you. No one should have to live like that, and I want to help you discover how to stop the insanity of out of control eating and learn to eat purposefully and healthy.
Onward and Upward,
Patti
P.S. Right now I’d like to offer you an ebook called “5 Recipes to Ease Sugar Cravings”, and you can download it for free here. My hope is that you will learn to feed your body the food it needs, not what it craves so that you can experience freedom from those all-powerful cravings…what crazy things have you done when sugar calls your name? Feel free to share below.
